In the past few days I’ve had two different people yelling at me, quite vociferously, with a lot of passionate accusations. One of them was my son’s new Landlady, who was wanting me ( and my knowledge ) out of her house so she could deal with young and uninformed college students instead of someone more mature. Surprisingly, and I think this is the first time this has happened, ( thankfully I don’t get yelled at very often ) I had very little emotional reaction and I felt very little defensiveness. The experience reminded me of a story I once heard about Velcro Balls.
This kind of situation can be likened to having Velcro balls thrown at you. If you are wearing Velcro, the balls will stick to you, but if you have grown up a bit and shed your Velcro skin ( in the form of self doubt ) then the balls don’t stick at all. It’s as if someone was accusing you of being a kangaroo and acting like a kangaroo. Any sane person in that situation would have very little response because they know, without a doubt, that they are not kangaroos, so the accusations thrown at them would be meaningless.
This more mature response that is available to us also resembles the instruction to “Not take anything personally,” recently stated in the book, “The Four Agreements.” Pema Chodren states something very similar with her phrase, “Don’t bite the hook.” As we can see in this close up photo of Velcro, the soft fuzzy part is definitely “Biting the Hooks” of the prickly part.